My Nobel Prize-winning Rant

As you probably know, President Obama recently won the Nobel Peace Prize. In my opinion, this is purely ridiculous. My thoughts:

1.) President Obama was nominated for the prize less than a month after he entered office. What had he done during that time? Not much.

2.) Even if you count his entire presidency thus far, Obama has hardly deserved the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, he promised to shut down Guantanamo, but so far that has come to nothing. Sure, he promised to end the Iraq war. But right now the President is considering what to do in Afghanistan, and he has already ruled out decreasing troops. Obama has promised health care for all, but that hasn't been delivered yet, and the current bill being considered still leaves many uninsured. I'm not saying that the President can't deliver on many of the things that he's promised, I'm just saying that he shouldn't be given an award for what he has only promised to do.

3.) Obama received the prize because he supposedly "created a new climate in international politics." Basically this means that he talked about stuff, and it made people (including the Nobel Committee) happy. Thus, as my bid for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize, I hereby submit the following statement:

I am going to buy a winning lottery ticket, and give it to you. I will give everyone on earth a big, fancy car that uses no energy to run and has no carbon footprint. I'm going to end world hunger, probably within the next month. I'm going to end genocide, and all atomic weapons on earth will suddenly vaporize with no ill effects. Everyone on earth will be granted a Ph.D. in whatever subject they like, and the required knowledge will automatically be beamed in to their heads. This will happen on December 21, 2012. Oh, and you'll meet the girl/guy of your dreams, probably tomorrow, but possibly the next day. So be on the lookout. If you are already married, you may disregard that last promise.

Nobel Committee, I am patiently awaiting your call.